I would like to start off by clarifying that this post is not about “celebrating yourself.” I believe that is based on loving who you are, knowing your identity, and practicing self-care. This is instead about feeling the victory of your accomplishments. I say this because I always want to be clear that you are not what you do. Who you are and the love that you deserve are never based on works.
This post may not speak to everyone, but it felt important to me to write. So often, I breeze by my accomplishments with the mindset that this is something that everyone does or it’s simply a box on my list that I am checking off. Just like I struggle to accept compliments, I regularly fail to recognize what I have actually done. Though many can match my achievements, and exceed them, that shouldn’t take away from my experience.
My two greatest struggles in life that I can trace almost all of my hurts/disappointments/offenses back to are: I do not feel worthy of other people’s time and attention, and I feel like everyone thinks that I am dumb and incapable. I have learned to love who I am and be confident in how God sees me, but those roots taught me that no matter what I do, I won’t be good enough, so there is never a reason to feel proud of myself. You can see how intertwined achievement and perceived value are.
Knowing that leaving my marriage was going to be just as earth-shattering as staying in it, I recognized that I needed to celebrate every little win, every milestone, every step forward. It was about more than being thankful – it was about victory. I was in such a deep, dark hole that I had to recognize every inch of progress and mark it with a celebration to continue to propel me forward. Like I said in my last post, in a bittersweet way, this habit (which is good and I fully support doing) made it hard to feel the success of some of the amazing things that I have done.
Learning to allow myself to feel proud is a work in progress, but I feel like I have gained some experience in celebrating the big and the small wins in my life and that is what I want to talk about today – marking the occasion, creating the reward, feeling victorious in what you’ve accomplished. It’s important to say that this concept should absolutely be applied to your loved ones – make a habit of celebrating others too!
Choose meaning over money. This should not be a financial burden. It is not the equivalent of “treat yo’ self.” Being responsible with your finances is always the best decision. Celebration and self-care should never undermine that. Keep reading for making your celebration meaningful.
Scale the reward. Since this practice is all about celebrating every win, proportion is important. You’ll exhaust yourself quickly and lose some of the meaning if you go big for every occasion.
Keep it personal. Some celebrations absolutely deserve a party involving other people, but many of them should be just for you (though including your spouse sometimes is encouraged for building intimacy and mutual support). It is your moment. This is about recognizing yourself and allowing yourself to be proud. Turn inside for approval.
Be creative. To make it meaningful, affordable, and balanced, you are going to need to be creative. Here are some of the ways that I have celebrated:
I own a set of party hats. For small accomplishments, I will put one on while I eat dinner or watch that movie that’s been on my list forever. If I can afford to, that dinner will be something I wouldn’t typically purchase like takeout or special ingredients to cook at home. For a real splurge, I might buy a fancy dessert – my go-to is a lemon tart. I try to remember to take a picture in my hat.
For small occasions, another go-to is exploring a new place. Trying a new hiking trail, checking out a different part of the beach, hunting for street art, driving around a small town – all free and fun! In the exact opposite spirit, everywhere I have lived, I have found a “favorite spot to sit.” My current one is a bench beside the bay. For small celebrations, I will go to my favorite spot and write a special journal entry or wear my party hat or throw confetti or covertly drink a glass of wine out of a to-go mug – anything I wouldn’t typically do there.
Painting my nails is a fun choice too. If it is a big occasion and I can afford it, having someone else paint them is awesome. Along those lines, a bath bomb or a spa treatment could make the list. Throw in a snack and a glass of something tasty and we have a real winner. If it is a bigger moment and my budget is really tight, I will paint my nails, put my fanciest dress on, wear my party hat, and dance around my apartment, or set up my dinner table with candles.
For a bigger moment, I like to try new restaurants. Once again, staying aware of my budget, it could be anything from a cheap hole-in-the-wall place that is a bit of a drive, or the fancy place around the corner that is a little expensive for everyday eating. It doesn’t have to break the bank, just be somewhere out of my ordinary.
Another big celebration winner is taking time off of work. It could be as small as going in an hour late or taking a half-day, to skipping the whole day to do absolutely nothing or to adventure. Whatever I can accommodate at the time, it always feels like a treat. For major milestones, a trip might be involved.
Hopefully, you are inspired to celebrate the awesome things you do! Try making a list of some rewards so that you are ready the next time that you have a win. Comment below with some of your ideas.
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