Monday’s post was about giving yourself permission to experience all of the emotions of your current circumstances. Honoring yourself with permission to be right where you are at allows you to process your emotions and release them, instead of trapping them inside. Every time you do this, you free up space for who you are becoming.
Acknowledging your pain doesn’t have to give it power.
Whether your emotions feel negative or positive to you, it is important to validate them all. Naming your emotions is important to the healing process. I encourage you to write down what you are feeling and what you believe generated that feeling. Once you have your list:
Pray your first prayer. Tell God how you feel. Let it out. Express to Him your disappointments, anger, frustration, or loss. He can handle anything you have to say. You don’t have to hide or try to wrap your prayers in a pretty bow. He sees you anyway so just talk about it.
Determine if this emotion is based on possibility or certainty. It is just as important to acknowledge the what-ifs swirling in your mind, but defining the context that your emotion is based in will help deescalate what is chance and prioritize what is definite.
Get past the top layer. In the midst of difficult circumstances, it can be tough to understand what’s deeper. Is this emotion heavy because it is triggering (possibly unrelated) fears or insecurities? Going back to my example of plans being canceled, as I’ve continued to struggle with this disappointment, I realized that it was hitting one of my deepest insecurities, that I am not worthy. I’ve journaled about it many times before. Unworthy of friendships. Unworthy of people’s time. My disappointment won’t dissipate if I don’t combat that false belief.
Erase the timeline. Maybe it means delaying or maybe it means extending. In a situation like this one, we can recognize that our sensitivity to time can be perpetuating emotions when it doesn’t have to. For me personally, I turn 30 later this year. I had a list of things that I wanted to accomplish before that milestone that I have to grieve over not completing, some specifically delayed because of this pandemic. At the same time, I can let go of this timeline and decide to still pursue them all.
Highlight what might be generating positive feelings – is it something that you can replicate? Is it something to give thanks for? You’ve heard all of the clichés – keep perspective, have gratitude, practice thankfulness, choose joy, focus on the good… These are easier said than done. Have grace for yourself. If you are struggling to see any positive in your current situation, write overarching truth about yourself.
You are seen and heard. You are loved. You are capable. You are strong enough. You are invited into the throne room. You have a place at the feet of the Father. He will not leave you or forsake you.
Pray your second prayer. Surrender it to Jesus (again and again if you need to). Pray for your needs. Pray for miracles. Pray for healing. Pray for perspective. Pray for victory over your feelings. Do your best to give thanks. Praise Him for who He is, even if you are struggling to see what He has done for you.
God’s promises and plans for you did not disappear when this pandemic began.
Everyone is saying it because it’s true: community is a necessity. STAY CONNECTED. Don’t allow yourself to believe that you are alone in how you feel, that no one else could ever possibly understand. It’s just not true. Don’t allow yourself to believe that you have to be “healed” to help someone else with their hurt – reach out, you never know how they’ll help you too. If you feel like you don’t have an uplifting support system to reach out to right now, try an online support group. This is a wonderful resource to find one.
Many churches are also offering public online gatherings right now. Not just to watch a service but to participate in discussions and check-in. My church here in Miami has opened their small groups to anyone that would like to participate, though I do encourage you to check out what churches in your area are offering so that you can attend in person when the time comes.
God is good and has good for you. There is always hope for healing.
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